Your question has three different aspects. One, frigidity in women. There are so many terms and terminologies used to describe sexual interactions. Women’s sexuality has been under lens for so many years and sometimes, mere disinterest gets termed as frigidity. Let us understand that, if women have had traumatic sexual past or psychological issues related to sex or misconceptions about sex or experience of pain during sex it can cause women not to enjoy sex. She may lose her interest and may become unresponsive to sex or may develop aversion to sex. Can we term it as an illness?
Second issue is about men. If men are having some issues regarding intercourse and issues of penile health, do they become ‘dysfunctional’? The term erectile dysfunction presumes that there is one kind of function and any deviation from that or any change in that is ‘dysfunction’. This takes away the numerous possibilities that are there in sex and sexual relations. There are so many ways of pleasuring each other apart from peno-vaginal intercourse. And these are not dysfunctions.
Please try and accept your bodies as they are. Get help from an expert, a counsellor or a sexologist. But also keep in mind that relationships are based on many factors and not just sex. Explore ways of pleasuring each other. Accept your body and your partner. Not being able to have sex can be stressful. But so is the constant need to ‘perform’. If you value your relationship, and if you value your partner, please help her or him to overcome issues, to seek help and feel secure and loved.