Dear friend,

Good that you have asked these questions and are trying to take help. Many of the times people don’t ask for help and get frustrated or try to push themselves upon each other.

Now let’s talk about your questions one by one. You were using masturbation as a way to give yourself pleasure and it is perfect, no problem there. Actually it is a safe way with no side effects. Now you are married and I guess your’s is an arrange marriage? In arrange marriages one need to take time out to get familiar with your partner as most of the time both are completely strangers to each other. Not familiar with the personalities, thoughts and likings etc. So I will suggest take your time, spend some quality time with each other and try to get to know each other. Do you talk to her about anything and everything? Do that first.

Physical relations and specifically penetrative sex is a difficult task my friend and needs some knowledge and skills which one acquires with time. So don’t get upset. And like you said you didn’t force yourslef on her is a good thing. But you said you bled while entering forcefully is little serious. Normally it doesn’t happen.

Does it hurt her every time you try to enter? There are various reasons behind a painful sex for a woman. One need to be relaxed, be assured about the safety and privacy. You have enough privacy in your house? Think about it. Another thing is if there is not enough lubrication it might hurt. Make sure your partner is turned on, and actually lubricated before having sex. Even if she seems a little wet, unless she is completely relaxed there might be discomfort still. Don’t use spit for lubrication. You will get lubricants in the medical store. Use with some advice and testing.

A woman can tense and relax the inner muscles to her vagina. This is not always voluntary. If she is nervous, or is feeling pressured the act will be difficult and painful for both of you.

Talk to your partner. We all are unique and different, our thought processes and likings are different. You need to vocalize your concerns with her so that you can find a solution. Read about foreplay, it is very important. More foreplay and simply paying attention to her body language is enough as men tend to overlook these things especially if they just want to get straight to the sex.

There is nothing wrong with your penis or it’s size and with the size of her vagina. Ask her whether she will like to remove her pubic hair. Also do read about the basic anatomy of male/female sexual organs. In women especially there are two opening inside vagina. The upper one which is very small is a urine outlet and the one underneath is vaginal opening.

Erection is a psychological thing rather than physical. If you feel aroused, stimulated enough the erection will come back. So, all the best! If you still find it difficult consult a sexologist near to you or a talk to a counselor. All the best!