I’m a 24yr old woman engaged to be married to my boyfriend of 3yrs. We have had a steady physical relationship (foreplay) but are unable to have intercourse. Every time we try for penetration, my vagina goes into sort of a spasm and we’re unable to go ahead with it. I think I’m also very anxious / scared about painful intercourse. Is this normal or is something physically wrong with me? Should I seek professional help?
First of all, please try and let go of the anxiety and tension regarding intercourse. This happens with many women.
You have mentioned that you are in a steady physical relationship and are able to enjoy sex with foreplay. The problem is of penetration. Find answers for following questions
- Are you really willing and ready for intercourse? Is there any kind of pressure on your mind?
- After having foreplay, do you feel any wetness in the vagina? Or after arousal, do you feel wet inside?
- What happens when your vagina goes into spasm? Does it start contracting? Do you feel contractions in the pelvic floor muscle?
- Is the fear only of painful intercourse or also of getting pregnant? Are you using any contraceptive such as a condom or oral pills?
- Can you talk to your partner and discuss sex freely with him?
Sometimes, it is all these issues that prevent you from having intercourse.
-If you are really not ready for intercourse, take your time and only when you are ready go ahead.
– If you have foreplay and if you are wet inside, intercourse may not be as painful as you imagine it to be. If both of you are ready, it is an act of joy. So let go of the tension and concentrate on what gives you pleasure.
-The most important thing is comfort. If you are comfortable with each other try and use different positions which may help you.
– If you are tensed up about getting pregnant, that may also cause this reaction. Please use a condom or any other contraception so that you do not get tensed up about getting pregnant.
– Lastly, if this does not help, please seek professional help. Talk to a gynecologist or a sexologist and ask for guidance.
There is nothing wrong with you. It is okay to seek help. All the best…